|The Merry Wives of Windsor|
| Merry Wives of Windsor
| Act 2, Scene 3
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Enter DOCTOR CAIUS and RUGBYDOCTOR CAIUS
Vat is de clock, Jack?RUGBY
'Tis past the hour, sir, that Sir Hugh promised to meet.DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, he has save his soul, dat he is no come; heRUGBY
has pray his Pible well, dat he is no come: by gar,
Jack Rugby, he is dead already, if he be come.
He is wise, sir; he knew your worship would killDOCTOR CAIUS
him, if he came.
By gar, de herring is no dead so as I vill kill him.RUGBY
Take your rapier, Jack; I vill tell you how I vill kill him.
Alas, sir, I cannot fence.DOCTOR CAIUS
Villany, take your rapier.RUGBY
Forbear; here's company.Host
Enter Host, SHALLOW, SLENDER, and PAGE
Bless thee, bully doctor!SHALLOW
Save you, Master Doctor Caius!PAGE
Now, good master doctor!SLENDER
Give you good morrow, sir.DOCTOR CAIUS
Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come for?Host
To see thee fight, to see thee foin, to see theeDOCTOR CAIUS
traverse; to see thee here, to see thee there; to
see thee pass thy punto, thy stock, thy reverse, thy
distance, thy montant. Is he dead, my Ethiopian? is
he dead, my Francisco? ha, bully! What says my
AEsculapius? my Galen? my heart of elder? ha! is
he dead, bully stale? is he dead?
By gar, he is de coward Jack priest of de vorld; heHost
is not show his face.
Thou art a Castalion-King-Urinal. Hector of Greece, my boy!DOCTOR CAIUS
I pray you, bear vitness that me have stay six orSHALLOW
seven, two, tree hours for him, and he is no come.
He is the wiser man, master doctor: he is a curer ofPAGE
souls, and you a curer of bodies; if you should
fight, you go against the hair of your professions.
Is it not true, Master Page?
Master Shallow, you have yourself been a greatSHALLOW
fighter, though now a man of peace.
Bodykins, Master Page, though I now be old and ofPAGE
the peace, if I see a sword out, my finger itches to
make one. Though we are justices and doctors and
churchmen, Master Page, we have some salt of our
youth in us; we are the sons of women, Master Page.
'Tis true, Master Shallow.SHALLOW
It will be found so, Master Page. Master DoctorHost
Caius, I am come to fetch you home. I am sworn of
the peace: you have showed yourself a wise
physician, and Sir Hugh hath shown himself a wise
and patient churchman. You must go with me, master doctor.
Pardon, guest-justice. A word, Mounseur Mockwater.DOCTOR CAIUS
Mock-vater! vat is dat?Host
Mock-water, in our English tongue, is valour, bully.DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, den, I have as mush mock-vater as deHost
Englishman. Scurvy jack-dog priest! by gar, me
vill cut his ears.
He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully.DOCTOR CAIUS
Clapper-de-claw! vat is dat?Host
That is, he will make thee amends.DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, me do look he shall clapper-de-claw me;Host
for, by gar, me vill have it.
And I will provoke him to't, or let him wag.DOCTOR CAIUS
Me tank you for dat.Host
And, moreover, bully,--but first, master guest, andPAGE
Master Page, and eke Cavaleiro Slender, go you
through the town to Frogmore.
Aside to them
Sir Hugh is there, is he?Host
He is there: see what humour he is in; and I willSHALLOW
bring the doctor about by the fields. Will it do well?
We will do it.PAGE SHALLOW SLENDER
Adieu, good master doctor.DOCTOR CAIUS
Exeunt PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER
By gar, me vill kill de priest; for he speak for aHost
jack-an-ape to Anne Page.
Let him die: sheathe thy impatience, throw coldDOCTOR CAIUS
water on thy choler: go about the fields with me
through Frogmore: I will bring thee where Mistress
Anne Page is, at a farm-house a-feasting; and thou
shalt woo her. Cried I aim? said I well?
By gar, me dank you for dat: by gar, I love you;Host
and I shall procure-a you de good guest, de earl,
de knight, de lords, de gentlemen, my patients.
For the which I will be thy adversary toward AnneDOCTOR CAIUS
Page. Said I well?
By gar, 'tis good; vell said.Host
Let us wag, then.DOCTOR CAIUS
Come at my heels, Jack Rugby.
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