|The Taming of the Shrew|
| Taming of the Shrew
| Act 5, Scene 2
Enter BAPTISTA, VINCENTIO, GREMIO, the Pedant, LUCENTIO, BIANCA, PETRUCHIO, KATHARINA, HORTENSIO, and Widow, TRANIO, BIONDELLO, and GRUMIO the Serving-men with Tranio bringing in a banquetLUCENTIO
At last, though long, our jarring notes agree:PETRUCHIO
And time it is, when raging war is done,
To smile at scapes and perils overblown.
My fair Bianca, bid my father welcome,
While I with self-same kindness welcome thine.
Brother Petruchio, sister Katharina,
And thou, Hortensio, with thy loving widow,
Feast with the best, and welcome to my house:
My banquet is to close our stomachs up,
After our great good cheer. Pray you, sit down;
For now we sit to chat as well as eat.
Nothing but sit and sit, and eat and eat!BAPTISTA
Padua affords this kindness, son Petruchio.PETRUCHIO
Padua affords nothing but what is kind.HORTENSIO
For both our sakes, I would that word were true.PETRUCHIO
Now, for my life, Hortensio fears his widow.Widow
Then never trust me, if I be afeard.PETRUCHIO
You are very sensible, and yet you miss my sense:Widow
I mean, Hortensio is afeard of you.
He that is giddy thinks the world turns round.PETRUCHIO
Mistress, how mean you that?Widow
Thus I conceive by him.PETRUCHIO
Conceives by me! How likes Hortensio that?HORTENSIO
My widow says, thus she conceives her tale.PETRUCHIO
Very well mended. Kiss him for that, good widow.KATHARINA
'He that is giddy thinks the world turns round:'Widow
I pray you, tell me what you meant by that.
Your husband, being troubled with a shrew,KATHARINA
Measures my husband's sorrow by his woe:
And now you know my meaning,
A very mean meaning.Widow
Right, I mean you.KATHARINA
And I am mean indeed, respecting you.PETRUCHIO
To her, Kate!HORTENSIO
To her, widow!PETRUCHIO
A hundred marks, my Kate does put her down.HORTENSIO
That's my office.PETRUCHIO
Spoke like an officer; ha' to thee, lad!BAPTISTA
Drinks to HORTENSIO
How likes Gremio these quick-witted folks?GREMIO
Believe me, sir, they butt together well.BIANCA
Head, and butt! an hasty-witted bodyVINCENTIO
Would say your head and butt were head and horn.
Ay, mistress bride, hath that awaken'd you?BIANCA
Ay, but not frighted me; therefore I'll sleep again.PETRUCHIO
Nay, that you shall not: since you have begun,BIANCA
Have at you for a bitter jest or two!
Am I your bird? I mean to shift my bush;PETRUCHIO
And then pursue me as you draw your bow.
You are welcome all.
Exeunt BIANCA, KATHARINA, and Widow
She hath prevented me. Here, Signior Tranio.TRANIO
This bird you aim'd at, though you hit her not;
Therefore a health to all that shot and miss'd.
O, sir, Lucentio slipp'd me like his greyhound,PETRUCHIO
Which runs himself and catches for his master.
A good swift simile, but something currish.TRANIO
'Tis well, sir, that you hunted for yourself:BAPTISTA
'Tis thought your deer does hold you at a bay.
O ho, Petruchio! Tranio hits you now.LUCENTIO
I thank thee for that gird, good Tranio.HORTENSIO
Confess, confess, hath he not hit you here?PETRUCHIO
A' has a little gall'd me, I confess;BAPTISTA
And, as the jest did glance away from me,
'Tis ten to one it maim'd you two outright.
Now, in good sadness, son Petruchio,PETRUCHIO
I think thou hast the veriest shrew of all.
Well, I say no: and therefore for assuranceHORTENSIO
Let's each one send unto his wife;
And he whose wife is most obedient
To come at first when he doth send for her,
Shall win the wager which we will propose.
Content. What is the wager?LUCENTIO
I'll venture so much of my hawk or hound,
But twenty times so much upon my wife.
A hundred then.HORTENSIO
A match! 'tis done.HORTENSIO
Who shall begin?LUCENTIO
That will I.BIONDELLO
Go, Biondello, bid your mistress come to me.
Son, I'll be your half, Bianca comes.LUCENTIO
I'll have no halves; I'll bear it all myself.BIONDELLO
Re-enter BIONDELLOHow now! what news?
Sir, my mistress sends you wordPETRUCHIO
That she is busy and she cannot come.
How! she is busy and she cannot come!GREMIO
Is that an answer?
Ay, and a kind one too:PETRUCHIO
Pray God, sir, your wife send you not a worse.
I hope better.HORTENSIO
Sirrah Biondello, go and entreat my wifePETRUCHIO
To come to me forthwith.
O, ho! entreat her!HORTENSIO
Nay, then she must needs come.
I am afraid, sir,BIONDELLO
Do what you can, yours will not be entreated.
Re-enter BIONDELLONow, where's my wife?
She says you have some goodly jest in hand:PETRUCHIO
She will not come: she bids you come to her.
Worse and worse; she will not come! O vile,HORTENSIO
Intolerable, not to be endured!
Sirrah Grumio, go to your mistress;
Say, I command her to come to me.
I know her answer.PETRUCHIO
She will not.PETRUCHIO
The fouler fortune mine, and there an end.BAPTISTA
Now, by my holidame, here comes Katharina!KATHARINA
What is your will, sir, that you send for me?PETRUCHIO
Where is your sister, and Hortensio's wife?KATHARINA
They sit conferring by the parlor fire.PETRUCHIO
Go fetch them hither: if they deny to come.LUCENTIO
Swinge me them soundly forth unto their husbands:
Away, I say, and bring them hither straight.
Here is a wonder, if you talk of a wonder.HORTENSIO
And so it is: I wonder what it bodes.PETRUCHIO
Marry, peace it bodes, and love and quiet life,BAPTISTA
And awful rule and right supremacy;
And, to be short, what not, that's sweet and happy?
Now, fair befal thee, good Petruchio!PETRUCHIO
The wager thou hast won; and I will add
Unto their losses twenty thousand crowns;
Another dowry to another daughter,
For she is changed, as she had never been.
Nay, I will win my wager better yetWidow
And show more sign of her obedience,
Her new-built virtue and obedience.
See where she comes and brings your froward wives
As prisoners to her womanly persuasion.
Re-enter KATHARINA, with BIANCA and WidowKatharina, that cap of yours becomes you not:
Off with that bauble, throw it under-foot.
Lord, let me never have a cause to sigh,BIANCA
Till I be brought to such a silly pass!
Fie! what a foolish duty call you this?LUCENTIO
I would your duty were as foolish too:BIANCA
The wisdom of your duty, fair Bianca,
Hath cost me an hundred crowns since supper-time.
The more fool you, for laying on my duty.PETRUCHIO
Katharina, I charge thee, tell these headstrong womenWidow
What duty they do owe their lords and husbands.
Come, come, you're mocking: we will have no telling.PETRUCHIO
Come on, I say; and first begin with her.Widow
She shall not.PETRUCHIO
I say she shall: and first begin with her.KATHARINA
Fie, fie! unknit that threatening unkind brow,PETRUCHIO
And dart not scornful glances from those eyes,
To wound thy lord, thy king, thy governor:
It blots thy beauty as frosts do bite the meads,
Confounds thy fame as whirlwinds shake fair buds,
And in no sense is meet or amiable.
A woman moved is like a fountain troubled,
Muddy, ill-seeming, thick, bereft of beauty;
And while it is so, none so dry or thirsty
Will deign to sip or touch one drop of it.
Thy husband is thy lord, thy life, thy keeper,
Thy head, thy sovereign; one that cares for thee,
And for thy maintenance commits his body
To painful labour both by sea and land,
To watch the night in storms, the day in cold,
Whilst thou liest warm at home, secure and safe;
And craves no other tribute at thy hands
But love, fair looks and true obedience;
Too little payment for so great a debt.
Such duty as the subject owes the prince
Even such a woman oweth to her husband;
And when she is froward, peevish, sullen, sour,
And not obedient to his honest will,
What is she but a foul contending rebel
And graceless traitor to her loving lord?
I am ashamed that women are so simple
To offer war where they should kneel for peace;
Or seek for rule, supremacy and sway,
When they are bound to serve, love and obey.
Why are our bodies soft and weak and smooth,
Unapt to toil and trouble in the world,
But that our soft conditions and our hearts
Should well agree with our external parts?
Come, come, you froward and unable worms!
My mind hath been as big as one of yours,
My heart as great, my reason haply more,
To bandy word for word and frown for frown;
But now I see our lances are but straws,
Our strength as weak, our weakness past compare,
That seeming to be most which we indeed least are.
Then vail your stomachs, for it is no boot,
And place your hands below your husband's foot:
In token of which duty, if he please,
My hand is ready; may it do him ease.
Why, there's a wench! Come on, and kiss me, Kate.LUCENTIO
Well, go thy ways, old lad; for thou shalt ha't.VINCENTIO
'Tis a good hearing when children are toward.LUCENTIO
But a harsh hearing when women are froward.PETRUCHIO
Come, Kate, we'll to bed.HORTENSIO
We three are married, but you two are sped.
To LUCENTIO'Twas I won the wager, though you hit the white;
And, being a winner, God give you good night!
Exeunt PETRUCHIO and KATHARINA
Now, go thy ways; thou hast tamed a curst shrew.LUCENTIO
'Tis a wonder, by your leave, she will be tamed so.